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My name is Vikki, I am the mother of Maddie & Noah.

This is our story: 

The way I describe my journey is "The perfect pregnancy that turned into every parents nightmare."

Some people might tell you they knew they were pregnant before they took a test… I did. I had a feeling that my body was not its usual self. I was more tired than usual, all I wanted to do was sleep.

I took my first pregnancy test Tuesday 11th July 2017, which turned out to be positive!!

I consider myself to have been lucky in the beginning of my pregnancy. The only pregnancy symptom I had, was being tired all the time.

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I was so tired, I NEEDED to have a scan to show me exactly why I was being tired. I decided to opt for a private scan.

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I was 9 weeks pregnant when I had my first scan. 

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I’M HAVING TWINS!! Non-identical twins. 

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In complete shock, I told my friends and family, I planned and prepared for not one bundle of joy but two. I was so excited to find out their genders, I did not want to wait until 20 weeks so I opted for another private scan at 16 weeks. 

Saturday 23rd September 2017 – I had my family with me to find out the gender.

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I AM HAVING A GIRL AND A BOY!!

 

 

Twin 1 – Girl

 

 

Twin 2 – Boy

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Tuesday 7th November 2017, I had a 23-week scan (to gather the last pictures from my anomaly scan) everything was as perfect as it could be. 

Friday 10th November 2017, Labour Started.

 

I did not know I was in labour as I only had back pain which I usually had problems with before pregnancy – I got home from work and struggled to relax due to experiencing what I now know as labour. I called NHS helpline for advice; the lady was very helpful and advised me to make my way to Heartlands Hospital.

I arrived at the hospital – Saturday 11th November 2017 around 12:40am.​​ I was seen to straight away; I had a scan and babies were fine.

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I also had an internal scan when I was told I was almost 3cm dilated and my babies would be here within the next week. 

My whole heart just broke into a million pieces; I just felt constant fear. I had so many questions running through my head. Would they help them? What are the chances of survival? Why can’t they stop my labour?

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I was kept in the delivery suite where I started my first lot of steroid injections and IV magnesium, I was given painkillers to help ease the discomfort of contractions.

 

 

A neonatal doctor came to visit to answer any questions I had, the main question being: Will you help my babies; will you try and give them the best chance possible? The answer to this question... if they are under 500 grams, we will pass your baby straight to you.

 

 

If they are over 500 grams, we will do our best.  Due to the equipment, they use, it is not suitable for babies under 500 grams. 

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My waters had slowly started to leak, roughly around 8pm on Saturday 11th November 2017 I was told I was fully dilated.

 

 

I was moved into a small room in the delivery suite with two small resuscitating tables; this was the point my mind connected with everything that was happening. I knew my babies were going to be here very soon. 

Every minute I prayed and prayed that they would to stay in my womb a little longer as I knew every minute, every hour was vital.

 

 

I was advised by a doctor to push; I refused. I was having scans every 30 minutes and my babies were not showing signs of stress or discomfort.

 

 

The doctor and I came to an agreement that my babies will be number one priority unless my health starts to deteriorate and then they would intervene.

 

 

I begged the doctors to choose them over me, if it come to it, to save my babies.

 

 

Shortly after, my blood pressure dropped and I could feel myself getting weaker. 

The doctors intervened and I had to start pushing. I pushed and I pushed and Maddie arrived into the world Sunday 12th November at 18:59pm weighing 560 grams.

 

I screamed for them to tell me they were helping her and that she was okay. The nurses stablilised her and she was taken away to the neonatal intensive care unit. 

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At this point, my contractions had completely stopped. 

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As Maddie entered the world, Twin 2 was supposed to drop down but he stayed at the top of my womb, transverse.

 

 

Nurses tried to turn him, tried to pull him down but he was not budging. The midwife broke my waters, but Twin 2 was still not budging.

 

 

Roughly around 19:41pm his heart rate started to drop.

 

 

The midwife told me I need to push or go to theatre otherwise my baby is going to die.

 

 

I opted for theatre straight away as I still had no contractions, but I pushed with everything I had, his bum came first, I pushed again, his legs came; I held my last push and Noah arrived into the world Sunday 12th November at 19:44pm weighing 600 grams.

 

 

Again, I screamed for them to tell me they were helping him. Noah’s heart beat was dropping on the resuscitating table… the midwife shook her head… it did not look good.

 

 

 They managed to stabilise him and he too was rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit.

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One sentence that stayed with me “no matter what happens, you have given your babies the best possible chance they could have”

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Neonatal

The neonatal unit is the scariest place I have ever been to. All the small babies fighting for their lives in incubators. 

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Maddie and Noah were in separate incubators, in separate critical care rooms, I didn’t know what questions to ask or how I was supposed to feel now; seeing my babies move, knowing that they were the little kicks I had been feeling in my tummy, it was crazy to see.

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I just remember feeling that the neonatal nurses will be able to fix them, and I had nothing to worry about, they were going to be fine.

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There was so many machines, constantly beeping, my heart was constantly in my throat.

 

 

The nurses had A3 sized charts they would use to keep track of everything to do with my babies - they had constant observations every 4 hours. I had to start expressing (liquid gold - best medicine a baby can have).

 

This is where I had a chance to speak to other mothers about their journey in neonatal and how far their babies had come. I had met one mother whose baby was born at the same gestation and same weight as Noah - her baby had been fighting for 6 weeks at the time Maddie and Noah were born.

 

 

This little baby gave me hope that it is possible that my babies could fight and win!

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As a few days went past, I was discharged from hospital. It felt horrible knowing I was going home after giving birth WITHOUT my babies.

 

 

It was felt strange, a sense of this cannot be real. The following morning Friday 17th November 2017, I woke up early and started getting ready to go to the hospital.

 

 

I got out the shower and had the dreaded phone call "You need to come to the hospital as soon as possible, Maddie is really poorly."

 

 

My heart sank. 

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I was making my way to the hospital thinking "this isn't it, she's just testing me, keeping me on my toes like children do."

 

 

I ran into the neonatal unit where I was told Maddie's bloods had become too acidic and that there was nothing more they could do to help her.

 

 

This was the end; my little girl was not going to make it.

 

 

At 5 days, Maddie grew her beautiful wings and became an angel. 

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I had to try and be strong for Noah, every day was a constant worry... would he follow his sister? I took this time to learn EVERYTHING on the chart, to know exactly what his observations needed to be.

 

 

Noah was doing fine; his oxygen requirement was low.

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Over the next few days, Noah started to show change, he did not like being handled; his requirements would fluctuate. I was told he has sepsis but they started the antibiotics just in time.

 

 

Slowly, Noahs oxygen reliance started creeping up. I prayed and prayed for him to get better, every minute of every day.

 

 

I was then told Noah had a collapsed lung. 

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Friday 24th November 2017. Noah took a turn for the worse, his oxygen requirement had hit 100%, the maximum requirement they could give - it was his choice to fight now.

 

 

I watched as the neonatal nurses manually resuscitated him, I watched them fight to save my little boy.

 

 

The nurses managed to stabilise him and I stayed at the hospital that night, praying he would turn it around. â€‹Saturday 25th November 2017. I was told Noah had emphysema, he was still at 100% oxygen requirement with no change during the night.

 

 

The nurses had one last option to try; a wobble ventilator - This is a ventilator the keeps the lungs open at a certain percentage to try and force the collapsed parts of his lungs to open... unfortunately this did not work.

 

 

I was told news I did not want to hear for the second time... he was not going to make it. I cuddled him until the very end.

 

 

At 13 days old, Noah also grew his beautiful wings, joined his sister and became an angel. 

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I got to meet my babies a lot earlier than expected, they came into the world and blessed my life more than anyone ever has.

 

 

I am still a mum, I am a mum of two beautiful angel babies. 

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This is my story, my perfect pregnancy which turned into my worst nightmare. â€‹

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Maddie

12.11.17 - 17.11.17

Noah

12.11.17 - 25.11.17

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